This Book Taught Me How to Have a Happy Marriage, Survive At Work, And Five More Lessons

20 Sep 2026 #misc

I had Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman on my to-read pile for months. But it turned out to be a goldmine, with practical advice for marriage, work, and kids.

Here are my main takeaways:

#1. Emotions are impulses that makes you take action.

#2. You have a rational and an emotional brain. The emotional one is faster.

#3. Emotional intelligence is a better predictor of success than IQ. Skills like self-motivation, delay gratification, self-control, and empathy. It reminds me of who is the real genius in Scorpion, the TV show.

#4. The first step to control your emotions is by recognize them. You can’t control when they appear, but you can control how long you experience them.

When angry, take distance: walk or workout. It might take more than 20 minutes to calm down. When worried, question your thoughts. When depressed, go out and socialize.

#5. When complaining with your partner, don’t point fingers to the person, but to the situation. Even if the situation has an easy solution, always listen to your partner. To raise your complain, follow the XYZ approach.

#6. The XYZ approach works at the workplace too. When critiquing, always give a suggestion.

#7. To make someone feel heard, don’t just repeat the last words they say. Listen empathically: paraphrase and state the underlying emotion you identify.